Red Means Good
See the red happy face in the distance? See how it’s in every square so far? Yes, this means I haven’t failed on my attempt to quit smoking. The group has narrowed down to a solid five, in which I strongly believe will conquer February without faltering.
To be honest, I haven’t really thought about smoking until the last couple of days when I started packing and organizing my stuff into boxes for storage. I got past the cravings, and re-routing my day to avoid temptation (I can now drink coffee in the morning, but alcohol is no no). It was going through the parts of my life that I have collected over the years that made me think. I tried to think of what my life was like before smoking and I couldn’t. It hit me then that nearly eight years of my life was dependent on, in my mind at the time, this ritualistic habit.
I was emotional for various reasons, one being the materialistic things that I have been saving my entire life. Things like every birthday card from every friend, every concert ticket and note passed to me in elementary school, folded neatly into those tiny squares and decorated with whatever your friends were into at the time (skateboards, Spice Girls, dreams of California…). Things that give me pleasure looking back on to remind me of simpler, slower, more enjoyable times. Things that everyone always rags on me to throw away that can only really mean anything to me. And they do. So I was emotional because of that and because it was that time of the month.
This goes back to not smoking. Let me tell you, having your period during this crucial time, which would be a time when I smoked a lot and drank red wine, is an entirely new experience. Normally I’m pretty good with the whole food craving thing this time of the month. I never liked overly salty or sweet foods (even as child) and I’m not big on chocolate. I guess as a result of the return of my taste buds, my mind (and stomach) has turned into a little monster of it’s own. Like today I saw a bag of chips, went for it, and before I knew it the whole damn thing was gone. Earlier I ate an entire bag of white chocolate medallions, unaware because I was working. I ended up getting really sick and was out for the rest of the day.
My body is going through changes but I know in the end it will balanced and most importantly worth it. As for now I’ll let my indulgence run it’s course and proudly inflate this Eastern European ass to it’s full potential.
Quitting smoking? Check this out:
- January 25 2012 | - Read More →
